There are many emotions that happen immediately after a loved one has passed.
As time goes by, when life starts to get semi normal again, you will have another emotion that creeps up on you and catches you off guard. It’s a moment most likely to happen when you are at a milestone event in your life or your kids. You will be watching the event unfold and all of a sudden you have a random thought “I wish “they” (a loved one who has passed) was here to see this, and then you start to tear up. The funny thing is, the reason you even thought of them in that moment, is BECAUSE they are there with you enjoying the moment. That is their way of letting you know they are there. I recently experienced this type of moment again with my mom whom passed in 2012.
A little background: After my mother passed, a year and a half later, I was
talking with a friend, (who has fully accepted her gift from God that allows her to speak with our loved ones who have passed) and she knew I was sad and missed my mom. She sensed my mom was with her and she said "Your mom is here and I hear a tune with the lyrics "Don't sit under the apple tree (with anyone but me)."" Neither one of us had ever heard it before. So she googled and found it was a 1942 song of the same title by The Andrews Sisters. Ever since she told me that, I have randomly heard the song and since it's not a regular oldie but goodie, I immediately think of my mom. I recognize she is with me and enjoying the moment that is present.
This past week one of my daughters had her final show choir concert of her freshman year, and if you recall, being a freshman has quite the challenges. So the emotional ending of this year was upon us. The room was set with spotlights shining down on the stage and 4 angled lights in the ceiling pointing at the stage. I proceeded to watch the show from what was a new seat to me, the balcony. This view provided the best set up for enjoying the events to come.
As my oldest performed her choir’s final set of songs, I was enjoying the "friendship" theme. I listened intently even though I have heard these songs for 9 months now, that being said, not once before had I noticed the lyrics "Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me" as the girls sang and danced around on stage. However, as I was engulfed in the story this time I heard those words so distinctly as if they jumped out and seemed to be written in the air above the audience below. The delicate gleam of the ceiling lights shining down created a light as if coming from heaven and I felt my eyes drawn to it and sensed my mom’s presence. She was with me watching her granddaughter; I could feel the warmth and love as tears rolled down my cheeks.
As the night continued through the other choir’s performances, there was another song that I did not realize the impact of the lyrics till that night. It was the final song of the evening from the choir that consisted primarily of high school seniors. So being their final show of high school, their set provided an overwhelming amount of emotions emanating from them and the whole audience. This was most evident by the amazingly talented high school senior who is clothed in a long feather lined white dress and with her committed to the character this year -dyed white hair, to represent the ghost of many who entered their "Hotel California" but could never leave choir theme.
As the fog drifted through the crowd and the stark lighting settled in, she started the touching journey through the song "Stairway to Heaven" with an arrangement that pulled you into the emotion these seniors and students were exuding. As the final last notes needed to be hit in a room of 1000 people, the silence was so powerful you could hear a pin drop. The audience waited, holding their breath as we watched her finish one amazing lyrical note to "Stairway", then pause -longer than normal- to gather her emotions to be able to hit the next note "to", then a more powerful pause came (and tears from her) and ultimate silence had everyone hanging on and passing her wishes of strength and love as they wanted her to be able to hit that final note to "Heaven".
As the tears fell from everyone in the house and the heavenly scene with "Stairway to Heaven" as the emotional peak, I felt I had transcended to heaven and again knew my mom was present to witness this moment and provide me the comfort to know she is not missing a single moment in my life or my kids.
If that emotional journey wasn't enough, the next day my youngest daughter was singing with a group of friends. This group of 9 girls had consisted of her friends that all had performed in the school talent show in different capacities. Shortly after that they came together as a group to perform the song Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, reminiscent of the 1940s USO tours, at the school spring auction event and their second stop on their "tour" was a quite fitting local air show.
As older WWII planes were present, the highlight of the day was the WWII B17 in the background. As we waited for the girls to sing, the parent in charge of the outing was playing music off an iPad that he had ready. As I stood there on the tarmac watching the girls run around in their outfits, with planes and hangers all around on a beautiful California day, one of the songs from the playlist begins to play and it’s “Don’t sit under the apple tree” by The Andrews Sisters. Of course, catching me off guard, I start to cry. I felt my mom’s presence in a moment I would have loved her to be present at… but I guess she already was. While I am composing myself another song plays. Then as I am talking to my oldest daughter I notice the song play again. I get choked up. Then by the 3rd time it played in 5 minutes, I thought to myself “Mom your killing me, I can’t break down completely here!” After the 3rd time “Don’t sit under the apple tree” played, the parent in charge came up to me and said, “I had 10 songs ready to go and for some reason it will only play these 2.” I then giggled, because I knew it was my mom. I was so thrilled she could experience a moment that just took me back to another time. Admiring and touring the WWII planes gives you much respect for our veterans and allows you to truly appreciate the innovative technology and luxuries we now have.
The next week my youngest daughter’s 5th grade class held their field day where they play relay games with their fellow classmates at a park. As parents we ran the games and enjoyed the grilled food and I felt my mom watching and enjoying the laughter. It was a peaceful, fun, easygoing day. The next day was my babies promotion from 5th grade. Through the ceremony and the lunch at a very empty restaurant, I again could feel my mom’s presence even without a physical song or sound to let me know she was there. As I stared at my daughter across from me in the booth she was working on figuring out her lock that goes to her locker in junior high, I knew my mom was sitting beside her, hugging her. As to let her granddaughter know she is ready for junior high and that grandma "Oma" will be with her as she starts this new adventure.
A loving week of milestones that I was thrilled to enjoy with mom.
Though a loved one may be passed, they are still present in spirit to watch over us, protects us, guide us, and comfort us as we complete our course work here on earth. The reason we miss them so much is the overwhelming unconditional feeling of love they provide us when they visit us. They are in spirit form and spirit knows only love, it’s the missing piece we strive for here on earth. So know when we are missing them the most- that is when they are with us.
The moments we experience God or a loving spirit are when we are reminded of the love that we came from. This glimpse of unconditional love is just like a phone call from home that brings comfort and a feeling helps us to recharge so that we can continue this life on earth that seems so challenging to continue sometimes.
We can connect to our loved ones by focusing on finding time to quiet the mind, be in nature, and listening to our inner self. They will give signs they are present, are you ready to hear them?
Much Love and Awareness.
I was recently asked by a friend, "What is the purpose of life?"
Well up until 2012, I wouldn't have been able to tell you. I was just trying to survive my daily life and that was my MAIN focus.
I was just trying to understand why my relationship fell apart and I was trying to process my choice to leave my marriage. I knew my choices were for the betterment of my 3 kids, though there were days I struggled to understand why I was going through it. In my past, I had never looked toward the future with the thought of being a divorced single parent. So I was not prepared and had a lot of questions. I wondered, “What is the purpose of my life?”
I came to find the answer to that question and many more as I was given some time to be alone. Through meditation, I came to understand my purpose in my kids’ lives and the people I interact with every day. Through reading and divinely guided answers, I came to understand the true purpose of life. The answer is simple, yet full of layers and has deep meaning as it is inspired by God.
----The purpose of human life is......To Remember.--------
To remember that we are all spiritual beings who are all part of a bigger plan.
By remembering who we truly are, we can remember where we came from and come close to remembering what TRUE DIVINE LOVE feels like.
And by remembering what TRUE DIVINE LOVE feels like, we will see the world around us in a different light; it will change how we interact with others and it will transform life as we know it. We will find the ability to see the world through GOD’s eyes.
Can you remember a time when you just wished a warm, loving moment would not end?
Perhaps it was at a wedding ceremony, or in the room where a baby was born. Do you remember the excitement and joy that filled the air? Take yourself back to that “TV moment” when it seemed like time stopped and all the hopes and possibilities of the future were untouched by reality as you stared in amazement at that miraculous newborn. Can you feel that moment of divine greatness in your heart when all that really matters is the miracle of life?
Remembering those moments of love throughout life and allowing yourself to feel happy or unconditionally loved, will open a door in your heart and mind that will set you on a search to find your passion and so much more. You’ll begin to understand your history as a spiritual being and why you are on this planet called Earth. At the core of who we are, no matter what role you play in this life, we are beings of love. We inherently have love to give and receive; a connection that cannot be matched.
In your daily life, you have probably felt that “longing” feeling; that feeling that you should be doing something else in your career or you wonder why you feel so passionate about a certain topic or cause in your life. That longing is your soul being pushed along its “preplanned path” so that you can accomplish the goals YOU set before you were even born.
The Purpose of Life (The Layers)
We are here to REMEMBER, ACCEPT, PRODUCE, LEARN, and REMEMBER.
Remember… that you are a Spiritual Being in a Physical Body. You are playing a role in this lifetime.
Accept… the reality that you are a spiritual, energetic, vibrational, all loving divine light with limitless possibilities inside of you.
Produce…. the actions that will help you meet your preset life goals (your current life purpose).
Learn… from your actions, others, and the challenges in life.
Remember… when the time comes to leave, that you made a difference. You changed the vibrational path of this planet, just by being YOU.
The Bigger Picture
Earth Experiment (The Universe(ity)
The Earth is a unique planet, as we know; there is not another one like it in our solar system. Its creation is part of an experiment within this vast universe. Your brave soul has signed up to attend this elite Earth University. The life you are currently living is the “course” you are taking. As this course of life progresses, you are getting first hand lessons on developing innovative solutions to the challenges of life.
The spiritual world (home) that we came from is perfect and in that world we knew how to function with Love, Respect, and Honoring each other without even thinking about it. So by putting a “veil” over our memories of home, we are able to be fully involved in this course we are taking at Earth University. This is not an easy course. We are the dreamers, pioneers, risk takers, and the brave souls who dare to attend this University. Our reprieve from this difficult course comes in those moments of divine love, happiness, honor, truth, and respect that feel throughout life that remind us of our perfect home.
While you are here, you may find that many souls are taking a similar course as you are, but everyone will have a different approach, individual desires, and lessons to learn while here. The basic agreement we all have while here is that we volunteered to be pioneers in working with different and negative energy. This is possible because we are away from our “perfect” home. Due to our memories of where we came from- being veiled, we can focus on working through the challenges related to our egos.
Our spiritual goal at Earth University is to develop ways of working with the ego and negative energy. This skill will be very useful when we finally have the ability to regularly explore space. Every soul volunteered to be here. The knowledge gained from this experiment is for your soul’s individual growth and the knowledge adds to the bigger picture. No person, animal, or object is mistakenly placed.
Before we signed up for this “Life Course” we each met with our counselors (Angelic guides) and laid out our individual life plans. The guides/angels are then assigned to each of us to make sure we each meet our goals. Our free will while here is one challenge that can push us a little off course. They do everything they can to keep us on our paths.
The reason we need their help is because by agreeing to be a part of this experiment, we agreed to not remember (be “veiled” from) what perfect spiritual beings we really are, so we can figure out new ways to be creative and handle the challenges of this world/universe. If we lived on earth as our true perfect whole souls, we would not learn because we would already know what the best path in life is.
Our spiritual intuition is the tool used to connect us to our guides.
As we grow up and progress through life, our divine guidance counselors provide us with signs and questions that make us think, such as, “What is the purpose to life?"; so that we search for the answers and look for the path that gives us peace and joy (the key to connecting with home and remembering who we are). The searching and finding the answers helps to keep us on our life path so we can find who we are meant to be in order to complete our puzzle piece/course.
We start out as babies of God, then as the age 2 rolls around; we are wholeheartedly grounded and connected to this planet and start learning the ways of this lifetime. As toddlers through teenage years, we are influenced in certain ways by the family we chose to raise us, by the culture we chose, and by the level of learning we wanted to be challenged by. We chose to go through these blind lessons so we could learn and take those experiences to help others. Hopefully, as we get older, we start asking questions about the purpose of life or start reevaluating life; and if we are too stubborn, then we are provided with a midlife crisis; to assist us in staying true to our life path (course).
Everyone’s purpose and course work will be different, yet similar. Two people can have the same upbringing and background, but will have a different experience and make different choices due to free will. So no 2 lives will be exact, just similar. You are unique and your perspective is needed.
When you stop, listen, take the time to learn from the things you have been through and pay attention to the path God wants you to notice, then you will find your individual purpose.
An example is being born into a family that has issues to confront and some cycles to break, such as a family of abuse (physical or verbal). It is passed down from generation to generation until someone stops it. It may be your job to acknowledge all the pain, guilt, and remorse of the family choices and release it all. By standing up and not continuing the cycle, you are freeing your family from the continued pain associated with the abuse. You chose to stop the cycle! Bravo to you!
Your purpose can be huge and affect millions or your soul purpose can be to change 1 life, yours.
Know that whatever you believe to be your purpose will be acknowledged by random people, animals, or things that God sends you to let you know you are on the right path.
So follow the promptings and...
write that book;
love someone that feels unworthy;
guide someone with a gentle hand;
be that best friend for life;
be that friend, just for a moment;
be the constant foundation for a family or relationship;
be at the right place at the right time - (it can change a person’s life).
Your purpose could be a small but necessary moment in your life or someone else’s.
How to find it?
Ask. -Just ask. -Ask God and his angels to show you what your purpose is.
Then be open to seeing and accepting the answer. You will KNOW the answer when you are in a moment that gives you joy or peace and you suddenly recognize that moment for what it is.
You will notice the peace, warm heart, a sense of calm, and possibly tears come.
Notice what it is that made you feel that way. It's a moment of pure heaven on earth that you will recognize. Then ask for more clarification.
I found my purpose, when I asked the questions. My answers were given to me immediately! God doesn't waste time!
God just needs YOU to ask. The heavens will not interfere with this university because of free will! We must ask for guidance. Look to the heavens as your professor/parent, ask the questions and be ready for the answer.
This blog is just the beginning to my purpose. It's for those of you who are reading it right now at this time. You have been guided to it. The bigger plans I know will come very soon in my life- yes scare me. I feel overwhelmed at the possibilities. But, I do know, I would not be put in a position to serve a purpose that I am not fit for. So I will trust God. I won't question what feels right in my heart.
If you have that warm feeling, if you feel your guard is down, if you shed that tear, then don't let your mind get in the way.
Notice what made you feel that way and embrace it. Work with it daily till you feel confident it is exactly what your purpose is.
As you are working into fully understanding your purpose, you will step back to the old comfortable things, people, and situations you have known for so long. That is expected. Transitioning to a new, unknown life is exactly that- a transition. Allow yourself to falter and don't beat yourself up for it. Accept it and continue to move forward. Eventually, you will have put enough time and experience between you and your old self that you won’t look back with a desire for the old. You'll just be excited for the new.
The purpose of life is an individual walk in this lifetime for every single soul on this planet. Every single soul serves a purpose specific to their growth and to a bigger picture. Your purpose can be found just by asking God to show you.
There is an amazing angelic phrase I came across and have used for the last couple years. It is a saying that carries so much heavenly weight. It's mightier than can be imagined. You can say it for anything as simple as asking for a parking space to as heavy as "What's my purpose?”
You can read about hundreds of amazing stories that have been brought about by this saying in the book: The Gentle Way.
Simply recite the words: "I request the Most Benevolent Outcome...." Then add what you would like and then allow God to take it from there.
Example: I request the most benevolent outcome to understand my purpose in this lifetime and ask for all the assistance to help me live my purpose, may it be better than expected. Thank you.
Talk to God, but then be sure to open up and listen for the answer. Find a quiet space and just practice sitting in silence a little each day, or walk in nature, let your feet be grounded to the earth. The best lessons are learned by just listening to your heart.
God only wants the best for his brave children. Ask for assistance to find your purpose and know you will get an answer.
Accept the challenge of what it may be, because you are meant to do it.
Much Love and Purpose.
Ever since stories were first told of princesses and princes, little girls have daydreamed about their future with a storybook ending. Girls dream their Prince Charming will arrive and whisk them away to a beautiful kingdom and the perfect life. The fairy tales they are told usually end with everyone joyful, hugging, and a sense of contentment; pictures are taken and the moment is forever memorialized.
As a child, your innocence is preserved by the sheltered point of view of the real world that is offered by most parents. You’re given the hope that your dreams, no matter how farfetched, will come true. Wishes are cast for a fairy tale marriage or relationship that will stand the test of time and make it till… THE END.
As an adult many princesses and princes are enlightened to the fact that there are chapters in THEIR STORY- with major plot changes. They come to realize that the pages turn and as time passes, they will be filling in many blanks in their story based on how they handle the challenges and emotions that life brings. Eventually everyone must stop and reflect on some major points in the story and be reminded of the good times or be amazed about how they got through a tough time.
When you get a chance to review some of the pages in YOUR story, you will notice some of the characters change, including yourself. That is GOOD for the evolution of the story. You must constantly grow and learn. Growing does highlight the reality that your original story, you had a certain dream for, will have to change. In many cases, change will inevitably encompass relationships ending, in some way or another and as with all endings, there will be some feeling of loss and even grief. However, with the passing of time, the inevitable spark of hope can reignite, thus allowing the unknown in life to eventually give way to the comfortable and content that you had lost.
MY story started out as one of those little girls- standing in my front yard in the middle of the Kansas prairie daydreaming. Dreaming that one day I would leave my little white farmhouse for a land filled with enchantment and the perfect life of a big family, babies, and a castle (home) to call my own. Then the day came, I remember so clearly, when I pulled out of my driveway in my convertible with tears rolling down my cheeks as I waved to my parents in pursuit of my fairy tale. My travels to a new land called Tennessee did manage to introduce me to my (Southern Baptist, Musical, Entertainer) Prince Charming and MY fairy tale began.
************* ************* **************
Skip forward 17 years worth of pages in MY STORY and I have just finished my review of Chapter 1. I would not change a thing. I have three wonderful kids, I am content with who I AM, I know my purpose in life, and I am grateful for all the lessons I have learned no matter how tough they might have been.
In the summer of 2012, my spouse and I separated. It has taken the past 2 years to work through this Chapter 1 ending. Having never been in this position before and being the detailed person I am, I had to fully understand where it went wrong. I had to understand if I needed to change something. I wanted him to realize some things about his personality that I know he would want to change if he saw everything from a new perspective.
Working through this process has not been easy at all; I will not lie! I have been pushed to the limit and with children involved, there has been even more caution needed. Though thanks to so many divinely guided factors, I have emerged having grown more in the last 2 years than I could have ever imagined.
John and I have spent many hours revisiting how we got to this point of now- officially divorcing.
~Many divinely guided conversations have happened.
~Many realizations have come to surface.
~And many tears have fallen.
In the end, with God’s help and an open mind of wanting to learn from this experience, we have come to a mutually agreed positive end; an end that has already been noted as “It’s amazing how well you two get along. My parents could not be in the same room together (when they divorced).”
The standard expectation with a divorce is that you and your new EX should not get along, usually based (in reality), due to the hurt and the need to throw blame. We watched the generation before us struggle when divorce happened and so we assume that it is just the way it should be. But the new generation is striving to put our egos aside and put respect and a mutual love for the kids involved-first.
Now that I have gotten to a healthy point in life after going through the process of grieving my marriage, (which I did not know was a process until I got through it), I now recognize that John and I have gone through, the recent headline grabbing process of “Conscious Uncoupling” that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin publicized on Ms. Paltrow’s website, GOOP.
On her website she has an explanation from Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami of what “Conscious Uncoupling” is. To summarize, in my opinion:
It is basically a (Spiritual) process you go through to analyze your relationship. You come to realize that your relationship was a classroom of lessons. Sometimes you are the teacher and sometimes you are the student. It is a mutual learning ground where the lessons were rough and painful or smooth and easy, but either way a lesson has been learned.
Let the guard down
You look at your relationship from an honest point of view and work through a process of letting your guard down so you can review your part. In turn, this gives you a chance to learn from what your partner brought into your life and accept the outcome with a mutual respect, and ultimately an appreciation for the lessons you received from the relationship.
As a modern society, we need to accept that some standards of marriage have to change due to the longer lives we live. One being that the phrase, “till death do us part” should not create a sense of a personal failure, if a relationship ends because that traditionally leads to anger and resentment adding fuel to the pain involved. Two being the roles in a relationship; we need to approach marriage as a partnership and be open to constantly learning and not default into a set of outdated “marriage expectations”.
The process of being able to be honest with yourself, by facing your personal issues that stem from childhood or past relationships, will allow you to not project your personal issues at your partner or bring them into any future relationship.
The goal is to examine the relationship as a whole but also as individuals so that both individuals will exit the relationship having grown and accepted the lessons they learned. This honest and open healing process of facing your personal issues, thus allows two healthy individuals, who have rekindled their personal self, to go freely into the world, having grown, thus allowing them to co-parent with respect and love for everyone involved.
Only one needed
This process is also a process that does not require both individuals to go through it to accomplish the desired positive end result. One party can work through it, grow, and in turn still see positive changes in the relationship going forward.
This is another article with a summary, from the New York Daily News, of what the Drs on Goop said: http://nydn.us/1g1dn7y
Conscious Uncoupling is a program created by Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT, which she developed to help people work through this process. (Though we have not done it, I imagine it is along the same lines of what John and I have done on our own that took 2 years to do.)
For me it is now time to acknowledge that I have a Chapter 2.
The scene has changed and now new characters will be introduced, so I now go willingly into the unknown with many new hopes and dreams….
No process of a relationship ending is truly ever painless but today’s families do have access to new techniques and if we are brave enough to be open and change, the world will benefit. It just takes a few brave souls to be vulnerable enough to start the ripple.
God does not want to see his children in pain. He lovingly provides us with new, more advanced tools and ideas every day to help us handle these earthy challenges. If we can just trust our guts on how to handle emotions and situations that arise, we will eventually look around and notice we are not the only ones going through the “new”.
Getting the chance to live a long, healthy life is a desired individual goal. Being able to live that life with a loving partner by your side is a healthy positive goal also. The reality is that over those 8-10 decades of your life, the world will change and so will you. You will grow and strive to be fulfilled.
When you get near the end of this lifetime on earth, you will look back and notice the different Chapters that emerged through your life. EVERYONE will have a different set of pages in each chapter and the number of chapters per life will vary. There is NO RIGHT OR WRONG. It is an individual, very personal, story you are writing. Write with respect and love for all involved and the ending will be better than you could have ever imaged.
Much Love and Happy Endings.
Photo credit to: Becrut on Weheartit
In my personal life the last few months I have witnessed many people be confronted with their current and past pains. Loved ones, friends, and friends of friends around me are all struggling and having to face old issues from their childhood or even residual soul baggage that just keeps dragging behind them. They are being forced to look into those dark parts of their history and the manifestations from that history. Any attempts at trying to ignore the fact that life seems to be falling apart and that you just can’t handle the stress as you had been, are no longer working.
It takes a strong soul to admit, face, and process personality issues whether inherited or taught. It takes a strong soul to confront a reality of being a victim, process it, be able to let go and move forward. We all have something that challenges us and to have the strength to be vulnerable, accept help, and have the desire to move forward positively is a major step in a lifetime.
I am relieved to hear so many of these people are taking on the challenge to face these problems and hopefully release themselves of the pain, anger, resentment, lies, misrepresentation, and false egos. An even better sign is that most are taking a holistic approach in dealing with the issues.
We are moving into a time where the heavy pharmaceuticals are not being relied upon as much. We are more aware of the adverse effects and think twice before taking something to mask the pain. These brave souls are trying new methods like seeing therapists to work through problems and understand a different point of view, hoping to see the lessons they need to learn. Some are meditating and just finding nature.
Today there are so many different ways to heal from the pain. We all must do what feels right to us. The coping options today range from the old go-to of diving into a religious book looking for answers to talking to a therapist to medication, if needed; to releasing the bad/old energy via eastern medicine (massage, acupuncture, reiki, meditation, and spiritual communications).
Holistic doctors are becoming more mainstream and if you have done all you can through your primary doctor, but know in your gut you need to try something else, trying a Certified Holistic Doctor is another option.
In the past, I have taken this alternate route after my primary medical doctor had run all her tests, and could not figure out what was causing my physical issue. The final straw was when she looked at me and said jokingly/yet seriously, “I just don’t know what to do with you”. So I got a second opinion through a certified holistic doctor and found my way to healing of a very common issue called Adrenal Fatigue, which is not recognized by the standard medical community.
We are in a time where trying new ways to heal is looked upon as smart and preferred. We are trying new things to help break cycles of codependency, drug dependency, and old behaviors/thought patterns. To be able to talk with a therapist to help you deal with issues is good. We are learning to not keep it all bottled up. Friends are great for helping you work through problems too. If there are friends in your life that are there for you during the tough time, then you likely have a soul contract to help each other through this period, but knowing the boundaries of a friendship and seeking professional help is smart and wise also.
Being open to eliminating stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine, sugar, processed foods, and high dosage medications (when directed) and opting for a lower dose medication or herbal pill can help you get yourself back in working order as you process the turmoil of emotions and feelings you are being faced with. Exercise and fresh air are such simple, free ways to help keep you going in the right direction also.
Getting back to reading the inspirational books, self help books, and religious texts, are all good reminders to help bring you back to center and help you find answers in other people’s stories. I guarantee! In the 7 billion people on this planet, someone has gone through exactly what you have and being able to see how they have gotten through it, will be a comfort to you and even guide you to keep going.
A natural point of view is your mind over matter. If you believe that you can heal yourself and get through a stressful time, you can. Millions of people believe everyday in religious practices, people, non physical energies, books of inspiration, talismans like crystals and rocks, natural scents from flowers, essential oils, and even a simple refreshment and calming effects of running water. Being open to new ideas and trusting what our bodies/gut are telling you, is a brave step.
Along with traditional doctor’s prescriptions, western doctors also recognize that we are in a more stressful world and will often mention you need to be “taking care of yourself by resting more, eliminating stresses and stimulants, and exercising”. Having regular maintenance like taking a vacation (putting electronics away, or better yet, go where there is no cell or internet service-just disconnect) are suggested.
If you can’t get away, then try a holistic natural approach to help your body release the toxins it has held onto for so long. The same toxins that are now manifesting into the aches and pains and are adding to the mental stress you may feel. Holistic options:
A spa day
A salt bath
Sitting in a sauna
Reiki (energy healing)
Getting fresh air outside
Talking with someone to get a new point of view
Releasing fear and anger over things you cannot control
Mentally releasing any soul connections to feelings and people that you feel have a hold on your life
You are an amazing, bright, powerfully huge soul energy and have chosen to squish and squeeze into the tight shell called a body. It is a stressful task, but with maintenance it can be harmonious.
Accepting help and pushing the ego to the side will open your spirit up with new solutions to help balance this world of strong negative energy. Your body was made to be tough and withstand this planet. Your soul is even tougher, but yet a balance of gentle.
The challenges you are facing right now are to be embraced and faced. Every person on earth is being pushed to get rid of the old patterns, old feelings, old ways of coping, and no longer look back. You are not alone in your desire to seek help to heal. Don’t be afraid to speak, share, and let it be known you are a brave soul that can’t do it alone. You are not meant to. Let one person know your struggles and you will find God will show you your soul companion that agreed to help you through this challenge.
Know this time will pass, but you must learn and grow through it. Embrace a positive, happy, joyful future and that is what you will receive. Focus on bringing that light at the end of the tunnel- to you.
Much Love and Healing.
When we are in the middle of “life”, we are just going through the motions and trying to survive for the most part. But as time passes we tend to look back and reminisce on what we just experienced. We try to see patterns or remember times and hopefully realize what was learned from that time in an effort to NOT make the same mistakes and work toward creating a more peaceful world.
On the broad spectrum, as you look at our world history, you see different themes emerge as time has passed. In Doreen Virtue’s book Chakra Clearing, page 39, she points out that in the 40’s and 50’s we were concerned with security and money; in the much enjoyed by many 60’s and 70’s we started to relax a little more and work through addictions and sexuality (under the umbrella of “peace and love”); and in the 80’s we worked through the world struggles of power and control.
Age of Empowerment
We are now beginning a new time called The Age of Empowerment, which will turn out to be a theme where the weak, hurt, abused, mistreated, and innocent are able to stand strong and show the world who they are. They will find the strength to stand up against the darkness in this world and be advocates for change and the people who have mistreated others or had bad motives, will and are being exposed. Their long hidden secrets are being revealed, and some- in a major way, thanks to the internet and modern technology getting the word out.
You can see these changes all around the world from the neighbor next door who held a secret for decades- that finally confesses; to dreams/visions revealing abuse that was suffered as a child, but had been repressed for so long- coming to light; or to the abuser whose long held secrets -are being broadcast for public judgment; to the blatant criminal head, corporate officer, or politician having their corruption exposed -and going to jail. The stories in the news are endless with respect to how LONG the negative behavior has been going on BUT they are finally being brought to justice.
This Age of Empowerment will have many benefits for the human race, but it will take some hard realities before the benefits will be noticed. With the lies being exposed, old cycles are being broken, and the air finally being cleared, we will are able to move our energy (vibrations) up to another level.
In working through an empowerment phase this means we will have the challenges of having to expose the negative. But on the other side of the negative will be benefits such as:
We will be able to understand “why did I have to go through that?”
The answers to your questions can be answered.
We will find that we can figure out life’s difficult problems.
The solutions to life’s challenges will come to us faster and be more efficient.
We will be able to help fix the damage we have done to Mother Earth.
New ways of healing the damage to the Earth and ourselves will amaze us and we will have the thoughts of “Why did we not think of that before?”
We will find that life can be enjoyed and does not have to be such a struggle, once we accept the reality that we each individually make a collective difference.
You will begin to understand your individual contribution to the universe. You will find your purpose if you have not already.
We will learn to let go of the old ways of doing things and accept change.
Accepting change brings understanding and understanding opens you up to accepting the lighter, happier vibration we have entered into.
We humans have struggled for so long to make change and move forward in how we treat others. Leaps and bounds have been made throughout the world in the last century. We still have a ways to go, progress is a slow change for humans; it was meant to be this way. We have to realize that WE are spiritual (energy) beings, all from the same source, living human lives on this amazing planet in this earth experiment and that we (YOU) so bravely signed up to do.
You are a powerful soul that has a purpose. During this time, you will find your purpose. We all have one in this experiment.
My realization of MY life purpose just began in 2012, after struggling as an "adult" for about 20 years. Many people won't find their purpose in life until life throws a major curve ball. That is just fine if you can take that curveball and learn from the situation.
Some souls are lucky enough to know their soul purpose and life passions at young ages, as many artists will tell you. But they too may have many struggles to go through that help develop the passion and emotion in the music or art that they produce. They must feel the emotions to be able to be successful because the raw emotions are what make them relatable to the non artist. We connect with the love, pain, betrayal, sorrow, and every other emotion that is apparent in the artist's work.
I was the average working mom going through a separation and trying to understand what was next. The curveball of creating a different life, than I had known for 17 years, was a tough reality. But with meditation and guidance of souls that were put in my life at the perfect time, I was able to realize my true path and understand why I had gone through the life challenges I have. You have seen the beginning of my path, with this blog, and I am excited to see how much smoother the path will be as my purpose develops over the years to come. The path is a natural step for me but as many people who know me, might say its "outta left field" I suppose. Either way, I am following my passion and purpose so that others can benefit from the lessons I have learned.
This Time of Empowerment is a phase for all of us to see the truth behind the things that are not working in our lives and our community. It’s a time to make changes and support others in their changes. Change is hard and being able to communicate with love and peace is the best way to get through the challenges. We must help each other.
We are all from the same source of Divine Eternal Energy. If we can work through our differences in this time, we will succeed in making progress beyond our wildest dreams.
Fighting against the wrong and unjust with assertive strength is a challenge that must be accepted.
So many brave souls are willing to stand up and admit they were abused/violated/and mistreated. We must support the innocent children and show them how their world can be a peaceful one to enjoy. We desire to give our kids the best materialistically and emotionally. So starting with being a good example is the most powerful and simplest thing we can do to hopefully start a new generation off with a positive higher vibration.
A collective of souls committing to this fresh start makes a big difference.
We are an amazing 7 billion souls, all from 1 source. We have support anytime we need it from the other souls whose vibrations are supportive and positive. And the angels are always there when you need them and even when you don’t think you do. They are working to give you the strength you need to keep going through the challenges and help you remember how POWERFUL YOU ARE.
Much Love and Empowerment!
How many stories have you heard about babies being calmed of hiccups, kicking, and general unrest while in their mom's tummy by them just hearing daddy’s voice, soft music, or mom’s humming? It's been proven over and over that certain sound vibrations can calm babies.
When your child can't sleep and you've tried EVERYTHING, what do you do?
You strap them in the car and drive around, and instantly the vibration of the car can put them to sleep. With that being said, even adults can experience the same effects on a long drive. The effect of the vehicle's vibration on sleepiness is not tied to one age group.
When I started riding the subway, I was fascinated by how quiet the morning and evening rush hour train was. At the same time, I was concerned about being mugged (TV Stereotype), or being perceived as a great candidate to have a random personal conversation with and so I spent the first few weeks avoiding eye contact and keeping my head low. After I rode the subway for a few weeks, I started to look around and I realized that most of the people on the train with me were just 9-5 telecommuters and they slept during the rush hour! Row after row of people were sitting upright with their eyes closed, yet they were sound asleep, and they all managed to wake up at their desired stops. I was floored by how they did this.
Then one morning it hit me, I had not gotten enough sleep the night before and when I sat down and relaxed, there I sat- straight up with my eyes closed, headphones in, and sound asleep. But even with a stop every 3-5 minutes that DID NOT interrupt my sleep. That 20 minute nap happened and my angels woke me up right when I needed to be. I have not missed my stop yet in subsequent naps. The vibration of the train provides the calming (I wouldn’t say smooth) hum that allows your body to just know its safe and you can rest.
I offer these examples to demonstrate that we are beings of energy (light) and we all vibrate at different levels. These vibrational levels are proven by the simple concept of attraction.
You are attracted to people who carry the same vibrational energy as you or at least who you can be compatible with; the ones you instantly connect with, like, that best friend or even a "soul mate". You are attracted to these people because they emit a vibrational energy that you unconsciously react to, that “chemical attraction”.
The opposite is also true. You will encounter those people who will only repel you. They are a personality that is just too difficult for you to be close to. That's because they are vibrating at a much higher OR lower level than you.
Now, vibrations are neither good nor bad, they are just higher or lower. When you are at a higher vibrational level and another person is at a lower vibrational level or vise versa, it doesn’t indicate that one of you is wrong and the other is right.
That individual soul is just at a different vibration. And that's good! If we were all at the same vibration, we would get nothing done down here. The ability to be at different vibrations gives us different life paths, different courses to follow, different challenges, and different personalities to interact with. It just adds that spice to life that is needed to help us learn and grow so that we can move up to a new more peaceful vibration with each lesson learned.
Raising our vibration is an unconscious collective goal, we have.
To make the goal more relevant, look at it as that conscious effort you make at always doing the right thing.
You are choosing to raise your vibration when you make a conscious effort:
to not break a law,
to take the high road,
to turn the other cheek,
to be nice in the face of negativity,
to see the positive through the pain,
and to create a positive environment among negativity.
Every challenge you go through gives you an opportunity to:
think about the consequences,
think about the people involved,
and think about how you want to handle it.
You get to make a decision, no matter what the circumstance, about how YOU want to handle your vibration.
Making the conscious effort to stay at the energy level of negativity does seem easier sometimes, because being angry or holding on to the pain allows us to not have to face the reality of the pain and anger. This is because the ego wants you to believe the negative is easier so that you can't raise your vibration.
The ego is your challenger in this game. Not the other humans. The egos we have are required to push us so that we can find new solutions to ending conflict, solving new ways to heal our planet, and learning how to live side by side with "different" from you.
Overcoming the strategically placed obstacles in life helps everyone to rise up and get to a level of vibration that is in an essence "easier"; one that allows us to remember where we came from and why we are here.
Each day is a new day to make choices that are positive; a new day to completely change who you are and start anew. Because you have lived a certain way for a long time, does not mean that you must continue to be that way. You may choose to change a little part of your life, or you may change everything all at once. Your destiny is in your hands daily. No matter what the end result will be, you can rewrite your future at any time. Free will and an understanding (father) God allow you to make your own choices.
Don’t just let life lead you and ride along. You create the roller coaster that will be your life legacy.
I ask that you take the time to notice the positive around you. That you enjoy your baby’s smile more than focusing on the piercing cry. Enjoy the innocence.
I ask that you take a deep breath in the beginning of a confrontation and envision a brilliant glowing pure white light (God’s Love) surrounding you and that same light shining down on your opponent. Find the calm in that moment. React with love.
I ask you to think twice before throwing that trash on the ground or putting that recyclable in the wrong bin. A little effort in that moment will make a world of difference for the future.
I ask you to not impair yourself with alcohol, drugs, or distracting behavior while behind the wheel of a vehicle. Please be safe and save the best parts of you for us all to enjoy.
You are a powerful, creative, strong, loving being. Your intentions are always for the good of all. Make the choices that will keep you reaching higher and raise your vibrational energy so that YOU can truly see how wonderful you are. God already sees how great you are. Now you should.
Much Love and Good Vibrations!
In life, you are faced with many challenges, some you pre-planned on the soul level before coming to this world, while others come about through the assistance of your free will. Regardless of the source of your challenges, you can benefit immensely from them; however, one of the hardest aspects of dealing with a challenge involves experiencing pain and the need to forgive someone or yourself.
Pain is a difficult emotion to handle because the ego wants to make you wallow in the misery and make you feel unworthy. It is not easy to overcome. As time passes, however, you become better at managing the emotions associated with the pain and you have that glimpse of hope that allows you to see a positive future. The only way to truly grab that future and be able to allow it to live to the fullest potential is to release anger and/or find forgiveness.
In many seemingly justified situations, it may be easier to continue to be upset with someone, but in the end, it takes so much energy to keep that pain around. Finding the strength to forgive someone that has wronged you truly is a more powerful way to use your amazing energy. Having the ability to perform the act of forgiveness with an honest love in your heart, is one of the most angelic gifts you can give YOURSELF and the person who has wronged you.
In this life with 7 billion people on the planet, there are many opportunities to give this gift.
In friendships, family, and relationships I have asked for forgiveness when I made a mistake. I have even given forgiveness to someone who wronged me and I don't even think they realize they did, just so I could acknowledge the pain and move forward. I have given forgiveness when it was asked. I have even forgiven myself for any role I played in the pain I felt, whether preplanned or not.
If you have the opportunity to talk with the person that caused the pain and they apologize, then on many levels it should make it easier to forgive them.
~But sometimes that interaction is not able to happen and you are left with questions of truly trying to understand why they did what they did?
~Or some pains against you may be so difficult that you may feel you could NEVER forgive that person. You may feel like a victim and that is understandable.
~Or the emotion attached to the person or situation may still be too fresh.
But as time passes, hopefully you can get to a place where YOU decide not to allow that person to have a hold on your life-especially if they are not around; or if you are ready to take your life back and release that pain!
God does not want his children to suffer. He provides us with an angelic support group, which ONLY knows LOVE, to push us along and remind us that we agreed to these challenges on this planet of free will. We agreed for karmic corrections and to the growth of our souls.
Through meditation, you can quiet the noise and hear/feel/sense/know that God is reaching to help you remember your history and therefore, understand more about this present life. A parent trying to help you understand WHY you had to go through what you did and WHY that person wronged you. You are presented with the information you need to see this life challenge from a different point of view.
Being able to forgive the people who we "shouldn't" or “can't” shows how strong you are, and can help you to better your life. It may take some time before you can truly forgive. The key to remember is that you may not want to “let them off the hook” by forgiving the person for their actions in this life, and that is fine, but you can forgive their soul for the role it played.
And while you are in that emotional act of forgiving their soul, you need to forgive your soul too for the role you played. This act will free your spirit of the burden you carry and open up the possibilities of a new direction in life. When you are ready you can give forgiveness via prayer to their subconscious. They will sense a relief even if they are not consciously aware of the gift you have given them.
A simple prayer, from page 72 of Doreen Virtue’s book, Chakra Clearing says to hold an image of that person in your mind, then say, “I forgive you and I release you. I hold no unforgiveness back. My forgiveness for you is total. I am free and you are free.” You should feel an immediate sense of release, of the negative energy between that person and you.
Here are some other related articles.
I hope you allow yourself to be free and to see this world from a new perspective.
We are ALL from the same loving source and no matter what a person did to hurt you, on some much higher level, they truly had no desire to hurt you, they were just playing their role in your life in the lifetime.
And when you chose to join this game, that person agreed to play a part in your growth. It may have been a negative role that doesn't make sense now, but in the end if you walk away from it with having just the ability to forgive yourself and/or the person who wronged you, then you benefited from this challenge. You will have mastered an emotional hurdle.
You are a powerful being and should be ultimately proud of yourself. Know that you can eventually find joy by finding the positive in the situation and you can walk away having reached a new vibration.
Much Love and Forgiveness.
Oh Social Media! You love it, hate it, or just don't care. It’s a free forum of millions of opinions and personalities you would not normally come into contact with in your everyday life. It's a way to make connections and relationships, or a way to lose them.
Everyone has a different view of how it is used and viewed. Therefore, there are no basic rules since weekly it seems to change based on what new program comes out or disappears and depending on your age range, you probably only use two to three specific platforms regularly.
Social media is a whole new arena to learn and navigate. It's a part of my children's everyday life as they are growing up. They know the terms: tweeting, favoriting, commenting, liking, sharing, posting, editing, chatting, and deleting as everyday words! All these words are related to them connecting with friends, family, and "gaming friends" (the people you only communicate with when you are in a virtual world, like Minecraft or a "clan").
When I was in high school, we had no way to communicate with friends except by written letter (called pen pals!) or hard line phones (the phone with a cord that is attached to a wall). The worst my parents had to worry about was what the neighbors thought and who I was speaking to on the phone that was attached to the wall in the middle of the kitchen. It had a cord so long that I would have to uncurl it so I could stretch it across the kitchen to my bedroom for some privacy! So the phrase "don't talk to strangers" literally meant don’t “talk" to strangers.
As I navigate this new media with 3 kids, I am very grateful to have a daughter who is "an old soul" and who is so responsible about perception and forethought. She is aware that there are people at the other end of that keyboard, even though she cannot see them or literally hear them.
She has asked me many times after reading a post, "Don’t they realize there is another person at the other end reading this who has feelings? I always am aware what I put out there."
She can explain her thought process to me on how she handles social media issues i.e. Tweets, etc. and she gets it. If she doesn't understand why someone would post something, we talk about it, until she can see the writer’s possible point of view, and she still wonders if that person realizes what they just said. Or if she posts something I don't approve of, which has only happened once, then we talk about it and I make sure she understands the perception others could take. It then gets fixed.
In my last two years of growing, changing, a marriage ending, friendships changing and/or ending, and looking for answers whether the outcome was painful or happy. I turned to social media as a regular connection when daily personal connections were limited. The most prominent ones in my life have been Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.
During that time as I viewed the posts by others I personally felt the pain and witnessed a friend’s pain, just over a picture of a new friendship.
I have felt pain simply by seeing a word of tenderness between two others.
I have changed my view of someone based off of a post and/or a picture.
I have lost long time friends over a new friend request accepted.
Some of these are definitely related to the pain of a relationship ending and the repercussion from that, but I have also seen some of the same feelings occur in others lives on Facebook. They have posted their distaste for their "friends" comments and unfriended them.
I have seen many posts related to "mass unfriending" due to painful comments etc.
I have read conversations that get heated between “friends” and “strangers”.
Social media can be an easy place to throw insults and people may not realize (or maybe they do) the power of their words.
Tweeting is another area that can have a simple lack of forethought; from tweeting pictures that can hurt others or offend them to retweeting private/personal comments. Now again, many people use it for business, but there does seem to be a very gray area between personal and business because each person has their own idea, or lack of, how it should be handled.
Social Media has many uses and if we can remember a few key things it can be very beneficial:
-Be respectful to yourself in what you put out in the world. Have dignity.
-Don't hide behind a keyboard saying anything you would not say directly to someone’s face.
-Anything you do can be found forever on the internet.
-Remember, you may feel strongly about something now, but later in life you may not, so be aware of what you post.
-Just because this is a new public outlet, does not mean you need to use it or use it for every little thing you would not tell your neighbor or a complete stranger.
-Words are powerful; we have an obligation to leave this recorded history as something that can benefit others and not bring pain.
We are all different, that is the way it was meant to be. No progress can be made if we were all alike.
The purpose of this world and life on earth is to learn. To learn how to work with other personalities that are challenging to yours. That is the way we get stronger and raise up our collective positive energy level (more commonly referred to as our vibration level).
Responsibility is a part of life and throughout your life you will teach others and lead by example. By choosing your words carefully you show that you are aware of others, respect others, and have respect for yourself. Putting positive messages and positivity in general in the world, in whatever way you can, will benefit you and in turn sends a ripple out that affects others.
Be proud of the being you are. Your determination and strength here at this time is historic. No one knows how long they have, use the time wisely and be proud of the positive mark you leave on this planet and in the lives of others. Everyone has good to contribute to our collective.
Much Love and Responsibility.
Many people go through life with their routines of daily prayer, meditating, or making life happen on their own. At some point in life though, some challenges become so difficult, it’s hard just to function. You could feel like your prayers go unanswered and just question all the choices in life you have made. Certain days are better than others and with time, you manage to work through it. Along the way you read new things and try new tools with hopes that they will give you a new outlook.
Within the last few years, when I was at a difficult point in life, there were many days I was just going through the motions of life. I felt I could not make any major life changes and had to get my mind in a good place, so I could function. I was guided to Affirmations, little sayings that put me in control of changing how I thought about something, as a tool to help me move forward. They gave me a sense of feeling confident that I was making positive changes, by starting with how I thought about my situation.
Affirmations are different from prayers in the sense that you are stating your belief to the universe.
Prayer is when we ask God to intervene or we express our gratitude; so slightly different, but both in the same category of expression and having belief.
Words are more powerful than we realize when going through the daily routine. They affect the mind and influence how we perceive ourselves and aspects of our life. If you have ever felt pain from someone’s words, then you know the value of them. The ego uses words against us daily to convince our minds of certain things that will mentally drag us down, like eating when depressed, talking yourself out of exercising, cussing a lot, constantly starting your conversations off with everything that is wrong in your life, or always pointing out the negatives in a situation. These words, in the form of thoughts, can even cause physical repercussions- from the habits of thinking you need coffee and sodas regularly, eating fried foods, eating fast food constantly, and using excessive amounts of sugar.
On the other hand, words when used properly, can motivate, cause change, and create joy. By saying Affirmations, words have helped me to adjust my mind so I could change my routine, break unhealthy habits, release anger, forgive, find joy, and my personal favorite- find emotional stability… that is priceless!
By stating a simple line each day, such as:
“I expect great things today, tomorrow, and the rest of the week.”
“I find joy in my daily routine.”
“I am deserving of money.”
“I can do everything I set my mind to.”
“I live in the present moment by being grateful for all of my life experiences as a child.”
“I have access to unlimited assistance. My strength comes from my connection to my Source of being.”
“I have the ability to accomplish any task I set my mind to with ease and comfort.”
You are sending the belief and declaration out into the universe. Eventually, you notice that your belief in what you are saying gets stronger and you see that the universe responds by building your life up around you to reinforce those words.
~Things will start to flow easier.
~You begin to see things from a new perspective.
~You find a sense of calm among the storms of life.
~You notice changes happening around you that are for the best of everyone involved.
I recently read a book that I recommend if you are new to the concept. You Can Create An Exceptional Life by Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson. This is a candid conversation going through the daily life of Louise Hay, one of the first leaders in the self help movement and founder of Hay House Publishing. Cheryl and Louise walk through situations in Louise's daily life that show you how simple affirmations, said daily, can help show the reader how changing your perspective makes all the difference.
When life needs a change; when a habit needs to be broken; when life just gets the best of you and just getting through the day is a challenge and you’re not sure how to get started, the simplest beginning is to talk yourself into re-believing in yourself. As you continue to say the affirmations daily, you will see peace, change, and a confidence that seems to feel like life is back on track.
You can create your own affirmations, or there are many pre written ones out there to help you get started.
Dr. Wayne Dyer has several books dedicated to affirmations, one is Excuses Begone! He also has a free app for your smart phone that has a simple card set that tackles life’s challenges right at your fingertips.
Hay House is a publisher of many books using positive tools, such as the You Can Create An Exceptional Life and www.healyourlife.com
Richard A. Luck is a Life Coach who gives you 50 free affirmations just for signing up for his newsletter at www.richardaluck.com.
Life is made up of many different experiences and there are many ways of getting through the tough times. You must find what works for you. In a time of so much access to information, it is very likely that someone has been where you are and can pass on some wisdom.
Affirmations are just one tool to help during those times when you need a boost and to help you maintain a positive path. By starting small and using positive words, you can keep the ego in its place and not let raw emotions lead life, then peace can be found as you remind yourself of the amazing being you are, smart, loving, and capable.
Try new things, change old habits, keep your mind open to possibilities. Life and its challenges do work to help you experience new things and find new ways of living. Change is inevitable and constant. Enjoy the ride.
Much Love and Affirmations.
My mother has been visiting for a week now pushing me to write this. It’s been an emotional week and this post is full of emotion, but nonetheless a heartwarming one… just for Mother’s Day.
Spending time with family when they live 2,000 miles away can be very challenging. Lives get busy, the time flies, and financial burdens take a toll.
When I looked back over the last 13 years, I realized that my kids only got to see their grandmother “Oma” and grandfather in Kansas every 2-3 years for barely a week at a time. This was brought to my attention with my mom’s passing in 2012. I was recently reminded of one of the last conversations mom and I had in which she stated her one regret in life. She said, “The one regret I have is that I did not take enough time over the years to be a bigger part in their (my kids) lives.”
Daily life flies by quickly. The urge to get through a day turns into a push to get through the week; then you look up and the month is almost over; then a holiday comes up quickly and next thing you know, a year has flown by. You then realize you did not accomplish all your goals and spending time with family is usually the one that gets overlooked. You might think, “Awe they (family) are going to be here for a long time. We will just get together next month or the next holiday.” Then it’s too late.
We are not promised another day or even hour. We will never know the exact moment in time when we are to return Home. However, God has given us a warning system, in the form of intuition that has many uses. By learning how to recognize your instincts, you can start to see how divinely timed this grand life is. Hopefully, you will appreciate the moments that are created so you don’t miss that chance encounter with your soul mate or that last precious moments with a loved one.
I’ve come to recognize and strengthen my ability to “follow my gut or instincts”. This has allowed me to experience one of the most memorable and divinely timed moments so far in my life, because I had NO idea of the events that were to come.
The following events occurred from August 2012 to October 2012. On a desolate highway in eastern California my kids and I were on our way to Arizona to a water park resort for a 4 day getaway. We were celebrating my daughter’s 5th grade graduation. Midway into the drive I received a telephone call from my half sister in KS. She was crying. As I am trying to maintain driving down a hot desert interstate in the middle of nowhere I asked, "What's wrong?" She said, “We are at the doctor’s office.” And through her tears she said, “Your mom has cancer and it's really bad. It's in her lungs and she has 2 tumors in her brain.”
I proceeded to find out more details as I drove, then I hung up, and later talked to mom from the resort.
Over the next 2 1/2 months my mom bravely did as you are supposed to, she sat through the hours of chemo and radiation treatments with hopes that they could shrink the tumors and reduce the spread.
One afternoon, while I was at work, I received an unexpected text message from my step father asking me to call both he and my mom after work. I was aware that my mom had been to the doctor that day. So my scared ego was screaming in my mind trying to tell me to CALL NOW, but my true feelings were calm and just trying to decipher the reason for the odd text. When I quit letting my mind run wild, I knew in my gut that if I called right then I would not be able to handle what I might hear. So I waited till I got home. I had said a prayer at work and told God if mom tells me that she is terminal, then I will leave immediately. That would be my confirmation of what my intuition was preparing me for. When I got home and called, it was as I suspected. The news was that no more chemo or radiation could stop the spread of the cancer through her body.
The doctor did not want to subject her to more treatments, he wanted to focus on managing the pain. He would not estimate how long she would be with us, but I knew without a doubt I had to leave that night and that I needed to take the kids along despite all the personal family issues I had and the challenges of the kids missing school for a week or more. My intuition was leading and it was screaming, “We all need to see mom one more time”.
After driving for 2 days, when we got to KS I couldn't figure out why my step father didn't want me to go to their home. We met at a store parking lot, where he then revealed, "I didn't want to tell you why you were driving, but your mom is in the hospital. She went in last night.” When I got to the hospital she was very weak and did not look well. She seemed so defeated. The comment to me from the family was "I think she was holding on till you got here."
After the words "terminal" had hit the air at that doctor's office just days before, she mentally gave up and this is not a woman who gives up. She admits to being stubborn and will get things done on her own. (Guess that’s where I get it.)
The next few days, to my delight, she built herself back up and found the strength to join the family back at her house. After the hospital visit while she still had the strength, we decided to have an early Thanksgiving (all our intuitions were screaming have the gathering NOW, we had NO doubt we should). The house filled with friends and family that came to see her one more time and even her first husband (my father) came to say goodbye. The day was comforting, loving, filled with emotions. Several of us even felt and discussed how her house was filled with love and "passed" loved ones (her parents, her grandma, and her brother-in-law) who were comforting us and enjoying the love that everyone shared for this amazing woman.
The next two weeks our goal was to make her comfortable. She still held some hope and even went through one more chemo treatment and took an hour long trip to the Kansas University Medical Center to see if she qualified for a medical trial, just to show she wasn't giving up.
We did our best to make her comfortable at home. I gave her a pedicure and a manicure one day, my youngest would play doctor and carry the necessary shot, and even donned a surgical mask once to show grandma how much she wanted to be helpful and spend time with her. My aunt took the time to teach my kids how to crochet as they sat with mom.
My mom and aunt have lived in America for over 35 years; their other siblings are still in Europe. So thanks to Skype, mom was able to speak with family from Germany and as they reminisced, you could hear the random laughs and confusion when mom and her sister would try to explain certain things from English to German or vice versa but they would get lost in translation. It was nice to hear mom laugh.
Though the energy in the air was hard to emotionally handle many times, having her grandkids sitting with her, talking with her, and just being there in her presence are memories we will hold forever. They helped create some of the few smiles that mom would be able to complete as the days went on. She found peace in those moments.
I followed my intuition and was confident that I had done the right thing by bringing the kids along and coming when we did, despite the challenges, that in the end, God handled better than I could have ever done on my own.
As Thanksgiving came, the cloud of emotion began to roll in because we knew we had to tell my mother that the children and I had to leave after the holiday. Our family knew in our hearts that she would not hang on to life much longer after the kids and I left. Life, jobs, and the daily routine would continue in her home, she knew the respite was over. I held my emotions as I hugged her goodbye for the last time. I had to be strong for her; I wanted her to feel I would see her again. Even though, my step father and I knew that once we left, she would give up.
Twelve hours later, while in Arizona, I received the call that she has gone downhill, fast. The family comforted her and let her know it was ok to let go. As much as we all wanted her to be here with us, it was time to release her so she could go Home.
Within hours of getting to LA, I got the call that she had passed. I flew out immediately, helped plan a funeral, cried, and dealt with all the memories and things that helped to make up her world in KS. It was the longest month of my life, but the most important one that will last with me forever, all because I listened to my intuition, made the right choices, and fell into the divine timing that made a moment in time better than I could have EVER imagined during such a trying time. Thank you! Thank you to all who helped me strengthen my connection to God.
The intuition is easy to follow blindly, everyone does it every day. However, recognizing your intuition over your ego so that you may enjoy a moment to its fullest during diving timing is the difficult task.
In this earthly plane we battle against negativity which thrives in our own minds. Your “intuition” is your spiritual mind- that unfiltered word from God. The brain is used to navigate through this world with logic and creativity. Your “gut” gives you a direct contact to that unmistakable feeling you get when you sense danger or that knowing when you have just met your soul mate. Those feelings are organic and don't have to analyzed or questioned. You just know.
The ego slips in and goes to work when you start to question yourself and rationalize or tear apart what you feel; that moment when you doubt yourself or the circumstances. Recognizing this challenge is part of living separated from our true Home.
If you can truly believe in the unseen and trust that unmeasurable feeling, then you can begin to strengthen your connection.
Much Love and Intuition.
For more information on how to strengthen your intuition:
How To Follow Your Intuition
4 Ways To Tap Into Your Intuition